National Pork Board

Secretary: Bring in the accused Mr. Porkirio Diaz.
Judge: You are accused of unhealthy acts. How do you plea?
Pig: Innocent Judge, that is a piggy life.
Judge: Ms. Cow, your statement.
Cow: I have heard that pork has a lot of fat and no grace.
Pig: Another dirty lie! I am U.S. Pork. Now 31% lower in fat than the pork your grandparents ate.
Judge: Mr. Chicken, what do you have to say?
Chicken: They tell me that pork is high in cluck…cluckestoral (cholesterol)
Judge: Mr. Pig, do you have something to say in your defense?
Pig: It is all false, pork has 10% less cholesterol than it did almost 20 years ago and is also an excellent source of protein, perfect for a balanced diet.
Judge: Can you give me proof (in Spanish ”proof” also means a bite) of this?
Pig: Pork is a delicious alternative: National Board studies show that roasted pork tenderloin, for example, has similar calories and cholesterol to a skinless roasted chicken breast.
Judge: I find pork innocent.
Chorus: Pork is good! Pork is good!
Anncr: U.S. Pork Quality. This is a message from America’s pork producers. Pork is good.